Essay Feedback

I know that some of you will be disappointed by the results of this first attempt. A not achieved at this point is no big deal. If you got an Achieved or a Merit, well done. We didn't have all that much to work with but some of you did better than others because you followed some simple ideas.

Hopefully you all use the 5 steps we discussed in class to get started.

Essentially you need to start with a simple introduction. Generally rewrite the question with some pointers to the content that you will cover. Then start at the beginning - history essays are after all chronological! Try to link the paragraphs together and finish with a conclusion. I know I make it it sound easy. It isn't without practice, lots of practice.

The biggest problem with many of your attempts was a simple lack of material. Regurgitating the intro' I wrote isn't your work. There's a saying about a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, well some of you need to take that first step! Some of you wrote all about the Sealer's and how dreadful their lives were, some even used good examples. Some of these narratives ran to a page or more. It was irrelevant. You needed to explain why the decision was made to send Sealers (etc.) and then the consequences/effect of that decision. The stuff in between needs only referencing.

Unfortunately Other problems included too much material using the more is less rather than less is more theory. Writing screeds in the hope of answering the question somewehere/somehow is only going to annoy markers (believe me I know) so try to be efficient. Besides wasting a page of writing that gains no credit is 10-15 minutes you could spend on something else that gains you marks.

Anyway, if any of you want to resubmit - including the Missionaries, now that we've looked at them then get it back to me before the holidays!